This is how you manage passive-aggressive behavior at work

Dealing with passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace can be tricky, especially when it shows up in subtle ways like eye-rolling, sarcasm, or quiet disengagement. Many of us have encountered it, but managing it as a leader can feel particularly challenging. How can we address this behavior in a way that maintains a positive workplace and encourages open communication?

As a workplace mediator and manager myself, I’ve seen my fair share of passive-aggressive behaviors. Here are some insights that I’ve gleaned over the past decade that can hopefully help you should you find yourself on the receiving end of such behaviors.

The root causes of passive aggression

Passive aggression often stems from internal struggles or unexpressed frustrations. While each individual is unique, below are some common reasons that people might resort to such behaviors:

• Fear of conflict: Some people find direct confrontation intimidating and resort to indirect expressions of their frustration.
• Difficulty expressing feelings: This may happen if they’ve been in environments that aren’t receptive to open dialogue.
• Low self-esteem: A person struggling with self-confidence may find it hard to assert their needs directly, so instead opt for more subtle ways to express their dissatisfaction.
• Struggle to be assertive: They may simply lack the skills or comfort level to voice their concerns openly and constructively.

I found understanding some of the common causes of the behavior helped me to feel more empathy for the person I was dealing with.

Now, to be clear, having an increased awareness and empathy doesn’t mean excusing the behavior. You still need to address the behavior (particularly if you’re a manager), but it’s vital that you do so from a place of empathy to minimize any negative reaction you may have. That’s because when you react negatively to passive-aggressive behavior, it’s far too easy for the conversation to be about the reaction rather than the original behavior you want to address.

Address it directly, calmly, and quickly

One of the most effective ways to manage passive-aggressive behavior is to address it quickly but gently. Calmly bringing up what you notice can make a huge difference. Try using language that is neutral and focuses on observation rather than accusation. The following phrase might be helpful: “I noticed a slight shift in body language during the meeting earlier. Talk me through what’s going through your mind.”

This type of language gives the person the opportunity to open up about what’s bothering them. It may prompt them to discuss concerns that they might otherwise keep hidden, potentially preventing further passive-aggressive incidents.

However, if they choose to brush it off, resist the urge to push. Not everyone is ready to open up immediately, but gently acknowledging the behaviour plants a seed for future conversations.

What to do if it continues

If the behavior continues, you may need to have a more in-depth conversation. In this case, it can be helpful to connect with them on a personal level by sharing an experience that might help them feel seen and understood. For example, you might say,

“I know I’ve asked a few times recently if everything’s okay. I don’t want you to feel like your voice isn’t being heard. I remember times in past roles where I felt I couldn’t express my concerns openly, and it was challenging. I want to make sure you don’t feel that way here.”

By offering up what you think may be going on, and framing the discussion about helping them rather than “telling them off” you increase the chance of them opening up.

The importance of creating an open and supportive culture

Ultimately, the best way to address passive-aggressive behavior is to create a culture where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts openly. Practicing constructive disagreement as a team can significantly reduce the likelihood of passive aggression.

There’s one particular activity that I’ve done with many organizations I have worked with, and had great results from it. It starts with bringing an idea to the team for critique. Whether that’s introducing a concept (or a hypothetical project), and encouraging each person to note any potential flaws, go around the room and invite everyone to share their thoughts. It’s important to have everyone speak in turn, not just have an open discussion where the same people contribute.

Repeat this practice every week, and invite team members to present their ideas and let the group critique them. Once the team is comfortable sharing when they see an issue, have half the team share all the positives of the idea that has been brought to the table and the other half share the problems they see. Now they’re practicing actively challenging each other in a low-stakes situation.

Provide guidance specifically on languages and phrases

Don’t hesitate to provide guidance on the specific language. Model positive phrasing when you give feedback. For instance, “I think you raise a good point with X. Let me add Y to the equation.” This approach shows that disagreements are part of a healthy discussion rather than a personal challenge.

By consistently practicing this method, team members develop the confidence to share their true thoughts, which ultimately reduces the likelihood of passive-aggressive behavior.

When people feel heard, supported, and encouraged to speak their minds, they’re far less likely to resort to indirect ways of expressing frustration. With the right strategies and a commitment to open communication, you can create a positive, productive space where all team members feel valued and engaged.