How to celebrate your wins at work without coming across as a jerk

05/15/2024, 5:57 AM
fastcompany.com

Isn’t it ironic that one of the best ways to accelerate our career is to have people see and recognize your efforts, yet for many of us, when that happens, such as when we get complimented or praised by our team, we instantly deflect and minimize the contribution?

We say things like, “oh, it’s not a big deal, “it was easy,” or “it’s nothing,” when in fact, it was a big deal and it did take a lot of effort. Our curt response is even a surprise to our well-meaning colleagues.

For some of us, sharing what’s on our mind and highlighting our work comes easy. We will be in a meeting and we’ll know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. But for others, the idea of putting ourselves out there, sharing our ideas, and talking about ourselves feels challenging.

At first glance, this may sound like the difference between being an introvert or extrovert, but it goes much deeper than that. For some of us, talking about ourselves wasn’t what we were taught to do. Instead, we were taught to minimize the spotlight and focus on getting the work done. However, the truth is we need to do both to accelerate our career. We need to get things done and confidently talk about our impact because when we do, we highlight our genius and keep ourselves top of mind for bigger opportunities at work. In other words, celebrating our wins isn’t a nice to do, it’s a must do.

The reframe

I can’t sugarcoat it, talking about ourselves and our contributions without coming off as obnoxious isn’t an easy thing to do. In my book, “Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons,” I highlight this is especially the case for those who grew up embodying “Quiet Culture” traits. These are people who were taught to be modest, humble, not seek the spotlight, and focus on keeping their head down. In many cases, these people are seen as the “quieter” ones at work.

However, on the flip side, there are certain colleagues who we see have no problems talking about themselves. They can even do it so it doesn’t sound egotistical or self-serving. In many ways, they are practicing “Loud Culture” traits, which are things like prioritizing networking and socializing, not shying away from the spotlight, and jumping to be the first to speak in meetings. In most Western and corporate workplaces, and for better or worse, attention tends to be given to those who embody “Loud Culture” traits.

So the question is, how can we find that right balance between working hard and celebrating our wins so others know about it? It starts with reframing these three misconceptions:

1) Celebrating our wins is selfish and self-serving.

Reframe: we celebrate our wins because it’s part of the work we do. We can’t expect others to notice or even remember what we’re working on. We talk about our work and its impact because we’re excited about it and we care about it.

2) Celebrating our wins will rub people the wrong way.

Reframe: No one likes a colleague who talks only of themselves, which is why approaching it with tact is key. We can do this by considering our tone of voice and structuring our message so it’s leading with the benefit for the team and how it has helped them. (More on that under powerful communication strategies below)

3) Celebrating our wins is an arduous process.

Reframe: Sometimes the most effective way to highlight our wins is to approach it in the simplest of ways. For example, sending a quick “FYI” email where all we are doing is forwarding a note sent by a happy client so our manager or key stakeholders sees it.

Powerful communication strategies

We know celebrating our wins is a must do, so the question is how do we approach it with tact and humility? In fact, maintaining humility is key because we know it’s one of the most important leadership traits that can lead to better team collaboration.

Just like our reframe, celebrating our wins isn’t self-serving as long as we are strategic and intentional about our approach. To apply this in our work, you’ll want to use the ABC Checklist as a way to structure your communications. In the book, “Smart, Not Loud,” I unveil that when you follow this format, it can make it less about you and more about the positive impact you’re making so others see the value of it.

A – Articulate the Benefit

How did your accomplishments help others?

Why will it matter to them?

B – Be Open About the Process

What steps did you take to accomplish this task?

State one to three points.

C – Communicate Using Power Words

What emotions did you feel with this win?

Use words like excited, happy, proud

What’s powerful about using the ABC Checklist is it’s a logical and clear way of sharing your wins. Articulating the benefit is how you can capture your listeners’ attention so they’ll know what’s in it for them. Being open about the process is how you can talk about what you did so others appreciate the effort. Communicating using power words is expressing your enthusiasm with strategic words so others get excited about it too.

One other simple communication strategy is to create what I call a “Yay Folder” in your inbox where anytime you receive a positive affirmation like, great job, awesome work, or congratulations, you save that email in your Yay Folder. This place will become the source where if you ever need evidence to prove you are doing great work, such as during performance review season, you now have it stored in one place.

Don’t overthink It

At the end of the day, we shouldn’t overthink how we celebrate our wins at work. Communicating our wins can really be as simple as writing an email where we say “I’m excited about this with you” or “check this out.” We’re not expecting a response per say, we’re just sharing our happiness with others so they can experience it with us.

So remember, celebrating your wins is knowing your work, effort, and impact matter. How you might have internalized talking about your accomplishments must be readjusted so you feel pride in your work every day, even though you might not feel it’s 100 percent perfect. As I like to remind my clients, if you’re not your own best cheerleader, who will be?