What’s wrong with saying ‘I hope you are well’ in work emails

How often do our workplace communications open with “I hope you are well” or “I trust you are doing fine”?

These “wellness checks” reflect the fact that everybody has become more conscious of the need to be kind to others. That’s a good thing. Our workplace has become a setting where the best bosses and colleagues take pride in showing sensitivity to the emotional and physical well-being of others.

And for these reasons, beginning a letter or a conversation with “I hope you are well” has some merit. But even if it reflects the best of intentions, this opening should be abandoned. Here’s why—and some suggested replacements.

Why to stop saying “I hope you are well” in emails

“I hope you are well” is not a prohibited email opener by any means, but here are some reasons you may want to consider starting your message a different way.

1. It’s a cliche.

First, this opening is overly general. Of course you want to begin an email or conversation with something that warms up the relationship. I call this the “grabber.” But people who use “I hope you are well” or a similar phrase are simply making a pro forma statement that could be made to anyone. The words sound good but have no deeper personal or individual meaning.

2. It sounds unprofessional.

Second, beginning an email or phone call with “I hope all is well” can make you sound unprofessional. Given that this expression is a “throwaway” line that typically is not meant to be answered, it will make you sound fluffy. It smacks of filler—of saying something that you’ve heard others say and you’re just repeating it because it sounds good. It’s a bit like saying “how’s it going?” or “what’s up?” These are oft-repeated, empty expressions.

Platitudes can weaken your impact because they are empty of meaning. You don’t want to come across as a person who has nothing to say and therefore begins emails and conversations with boilerplate text.

3. It creates confusion.

Third, beginning with “I hope you are well” can create confusion for the recipient, who may wonder how to respond. Should they address the comment or let it go?

For example, when an email begins with this expression, possible answers run through the recipient’s mind, including “I’m well,” or “I’m having a great week,” or “life has been good.” They might even consider getting more specific. But if they’re grappling with a problem, should they spill all?

Here is where the confusion sets in. Should the respondent not address the query at all, answer only in the positive, or go deeper and explain that they are wrestling with a problem—at work or at home? People justifiably get confused about how to respond.

4. It can lead to a digression.

An email or conversation launched with “I hope all is well with you” can get the discussion off course. Your recipient may respond with details of what’s happening in their life—which can be fine (or even nice). But you may also find yourself having to respond to a narrative you hadn’t planned on.

With an especially talkative individual, you might get a response like, “Yes, I’ve been well. In fact, let me tell you where we went on a recent holiday.” Your listener has been waiting for a chance to tell you or anyone else about their recent vacation, what cities they saw, and what they liked about each one. Your statement becomes an invitation to share a personal narrative that may get you (and them) off track.

5. It may sound empty.

Saying “I hope you are well” might also sound empty or even heartless to someone who has actually been going through an especially hard time. It may strike the recipient as toxic positivity insofar as the speaker is using a quick brushstroke to gloss over something much more profound. It may not be an intentional dig, but it’s still a poor way of introducing the subject of the recipient’s emotional state. The query will ring hollow with any recipient who is dealing with something serious.

7 Alternatives to “I hope you are well”

Here are some other ways to start your messages:

1. With something specific and sincere

“I hope you’re well” can sound overly vague. So instead, sk yourself what you can say to show that you do care about the person you are writing to or talking with. You might begin: “You have been on my mind lately,” and then explain why. Or say: “We were so enthralled with the event you hosted last month.” In short, think about something in your relationship with your recipient to draw out.

If it’s a new contact, show you’ve done your research and say something positive about that person. For example: “I’m so impressed with your HR organization,” or “I am looking forward to meeting you and being part of your product launch.” Being specific gets the relationship off on good footing.

2. “I hope you’re having a [productive/good/great/etc.] [week/month/season/year].”

This is a good email opener for a quick message. Not every email needs to make a great first impression or build a relationship, but getting a bit more specific will make it feel more personal than the vague ‘I hope you’re well.”

3. “We met at..” or another a reminder

Maybe you’ve met the person you’re emailing, but it was just once or perhaps you worked together years ago. Either way, you want your recipient to know who you are right up front. If not, they might not be motivated to read the rest of your message. A well wish from a stranger doesn’t mean much.

4. “[Name] said I should reach out.”

This is another opener that hooks your recipient by telling them why they should read your message. It tells them right up front why you’re contacting them and reassures them that someone they know “vouches” for you. Your next sentences should quickly explain why you were referred to them by your mutual contact. And of course, you should only use this opener if it’s true.

5. With an introduction to yourself

Sometimes you’re sending a cold or nearly cold email, and in these cases, your first order of business should always be introducing yourself. This doesn’t mean telling your life story, however. Instead, quickly tell the email recipient what about you is relevant to them.

For example, if you’re messaging someone who works at the same company as you, you might say:

“Hi Millie,

I’m Peter, the new marketing assistant under Kim and I was wondering if you’d be able to answer some of my questions on the newest product feature release.”

Or if you’re reaching out to a possible contact for an information interview, you might say:

“Hello Juan,

I’m a senior in USC’s Computer Science major and I’m interested in pursuing a career in game design.”

6. “How are you?”

This doesn’t necessarily mean to literally start your email with the sentence “How are you?”—you can use any of the many alternatives. But only use this opener if you genuinely want an answer and you’re ready to continue any conversation that the recipient starts as a result. Asking how someone is doing is less presumptuous than “I hope you are well” because it gives room for them to answer genuinely.

7. Nothing

Not every email needs a dedicated opener. Particularly if you’re emailing someone you work with a lot or have other conversations going with, you can just cut to the point. If you’re Slacking your supervisor every day, for example, there’s no reason to start an email with pleasantries. Instead, you can just keep your email brief and to the point.

Regina Borsellino also contributed writing, reporting, and/or advice to this article and a previous version.