What should I do if I’m being left out because I’m older than my coworkers?

08/09/2024, 7:43 AM
fastcompany.com

Welcome to Pressing Questions, Fast Company’s work-life advice column. Every week, deputy editor Kathleen Davis, host of The New Way We Work podcast, will answer the biggest and most pressing workplace questions.

Q: What should I do if I’m being left out because I’m older than my coworkers?A: Much like the suspicion that your company is trying to get you to quit, this is one of those workplace issues where you feel like something is wrong but you can’t necessarily know for sure.A lot of the advice around age discrimination at work centers around avoiding age discrimination in hiring and promotion. Fast Company has also published several stories aimed at younger employees advising them how not to be ageist against their older coworkers.

Interestingly, as younger generations have pushed for workplace change in DEI policies and benefits like paid family leave and fertility benefits, issues that impact older workers haven’t received as much attention.This could be because many millenial and Gen Z employees aren’t yet thinking about age discrimination, caring for aging parents, or the impacts of menopause. Younger employees might also view the generations above them as competition for career advancement.If you feel like you are being discriminated against because of your age, you can go the official route of going to HR or filing a complaint with the EEOC. But if it’s just a suspicion that you are being left out of conversations or overlooked for opportunities, there are a few things you can do.

Demonstrate a willingness to try new things

Younger colleagues might assume that older coworkers aren’t as tech savvy, might be resistant to experimenting on new platforms, or are just generally more risk averse. As someone with many years experience, you might have more institutional knowledge of how similar ideas have worked in the past. But a willingness to try something from a new angle and curiosity and interest in new approaches can go a long way in dispelling a belief that older workers are opposed to new things. Try the improv approach: “Yes and,” instead of “no.”

Call out unconscious bias

The thing about unconscious bias is that it’s unconscious. Approach conversations without assuming bad intentions. Hopefully your colleagues aren’t consciously trying to exclude or alienate you. If you hear a coworker making an ageist comment or assumption, you can correct it. When topics that are important to younger workers are mentioned, help expand the conversation to include issues that matter to older workers, too. Frame it as a matter of inclusivity, because it is.

Speaking up for yourself when you’re being left out can feel a little like asking to sit with the cool kids at lunch, but hopefully you have gained a certain level of self confidence in years since high school.

Want some more advice on ageism at work? Here you go: