Try this mindset to reframe your approach to a setback

You miss an important meeting. Your flight gets canceled. You lose a crucial document when your computer crashes. You miss out on a significant deal. A key client has dumped you. The list could go on. Today’s workplaces are challenging, with the constant pressure to perform in a changing environment where obstacles frequently arise.

You can’t control what happens every day. However, you can choose your response by noticing your feelings and reactions and determining where you focus your attention. This choice is not about ignoring what is happening or how you feel. It’s accepting that all your feelings—the good and the not–so–good—are valid and then consciously deciding to reframe them.

Choose your frame of reference

Psychologist Martin Seligman, one of the founders of Positive Psychology, highlights how optimism is a learned trait and involves choosing to approach situations optimistically. He said:

“Optimistic people generally feel that good things will last a long time and will have a beneficial effect on everything they do. And they think that bad things are isolated. They won’t last too long and won’t affect other parts of life.”

“Optimistic people generally feel that good things will last a long time and will have a beneficial effect on everything they do. And they think that bad things are isolated. They won’t last too long and won’t affect other parts of life.”

However, being hopelessly and unrealistically optimistic won’t help you succeed. Reframing will.

Jim Collins wrote about this in his best-selling book Good to Great. He references the wisdom of Admiral James Stockdale, a prisoner of war in Vietnam for more than seven years. Reflecting on that time, Admiral Stockdale found that the optimists were the people who didn’t make it out of the camps. He said:

“The optimists… were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go.”

“The optimists… were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go.”

Instead, he advised,

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

We need optimism with realism attached, or what psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman calls tragic optimism, which involves a search for meaning when times are tough. Taking such a purposeful approach means you don’t work against your feelings or situation. Instead, you reframe the meaning you assign to what is happening and focus on your why and purpose.

You also set reasonable goals given the current circumstances. You can expect to be adaptable enough to change your path to get there. All while maintaining the courage, conviction, and capability to know you will get there, although it might take longer than initially planned.

Get intentional about happiness

About 90% of happiness is based on your internal view of the world and how your brain processes what is happening. Research shows that genetics accounts for about 50% of your happiness quota (i.e. your happiness setting at birth, predisposition, and personality traits); 10% is due to circumstances; and the remaining 40% to variants you determine by the intentional activities you undertake.

In their research, professor Sonja Lyubomirsky and colleagues defined intentional as discrete actions or practices (requiring some effort) in which people engage. In further research, professor Lyubomirsky and colleagues examined whether happiness leads to success and the causal factors. They suggest that the happiness–success link exists because success makes people happy and, more importantly, because having a positive disposition engenders success. Their results showed that happiness is associated with and precedes successful outcomes.

They also reviewed data that showed happy individuals are more likely than their less happy peers to have fulfilling marriages and relationships, high incomes, superior work performance, community involvement, robust health, and a long life. So, the happier you are, the more likely you are to experience success. This connection has a compounding effect because happiness, which has its origins in personality and past successes, leads to behaviors that, in turn, lead to future success.

Build your practices

Elevating your happiness takes deliberate practice and the ability to reframe. For example:

• Be grateful: Expressing gratitude helps you feel happier and builds your resilience.   
• Spend time connecting with nature: Appreciate the grace and beauty of what is around you daily in the natural environment.  
• Exercise, meditate, and get enough sleep: Healthy habits feed a healthy mind. 
• Devote time to important relationships: You need deep and meaningful connections to thrive. 
• Seek purpose and meaning in your life: Know what matters to you, and set goals to align your work and life with your purpose.

Uncertainty and change are certain in today’s working world, so having practices in your leadership tool kit that support you is essential. Now’s the perfect time to be deliberate about reframing your approach to setbacks to leverage the positive techniques you add to that tool kit.