The ultimate guide to identifying a toxic boss

Working for a toxic boss is one of the worst experiences you can endure at work. Research suggests that having a toxic manager can lead to burnout, reduce physical and emotional well-being, and sabotage work satisfaction and motivation.

Sometimes, it’s obvious that a manager is toxic and is negatively impacting you inside and outside of work. But sometimes the experience of having a toxic boss is more insidious. You may experience a slow drip of negative experiences that wear you down, undermine your confidence, and chip away at your happiness.

One survey found that 69% of workers say their boss has a greater impact on their mental health than their doctor or their therapist, about the same effect as their partner. And a second survey suggests that 87% of people believe they have worked for a toxic boss—and then there are those who have not yet realized their boss is toxic.

Many of us are aware of the obvious signs of a bad boss. But there are also nonobvious indicators that you have a bad boss. These signals should alert you to the need to take action or make new choices about where you’re working or who you’re working for. Here is an ultimate guide to the obvious and less-obvious signs that you have a toxic boss—and how you can identify a toxic boss yourself.

What is a toxic boss?

The first step to identifying a toxic boss is to understand what makes a boss toxic and why so many leaders fail to create healthy work environments for their teams.

Toxic bosses can demonstrate a range of bad behavior. Some toxic bosses are too demanding, while others are aloof. Some toxic bosses stifle your career with nitpicking critiques, others fail to communicate completely. Toxic leaders can be arrogant or micromanaging. They may also lack civility by interrupting others, being rude, being sarcastic, or even demeaning those around them.

In whatever form they come, toxic leaders tend to have negative effects on individuals, teams, and even whole organizations. In this way, a toxic boss can often be defined by their impact on others.

This may be one reason why workers today are more likely to identify and discuss toxic bosses. “The term ‘toxic boss’ has become popular in the last few years because the expectations of managers and bosses have never been higher,” says Kari Atkinson, vice president of people and culture at ManpowerGroup, ​​the third-largest staffing firm in the world.

Atkinson also suggests that one reason so many bosses can be identified as toxic is because they were not given adequate training about how to become a healthy manager. “In some cases, people are promoted into management positions with no training or support on how to be a good leader which creates a gap in employee expectations of a leader versus reality,” she says.

Plus, Atkinson adds that there is an unfortunate trend in which strong independent contributors, rather than those with the best interpersonal skills, are promoted to management. “People who can technically do the job well are not always the best leaders. Today’s manager needs to be able to inspire, coach and motivate to be successful,” she says. “They need to enable their teams to be successful and support people in bringing their whole selves to work.”

No manager is perfect, and it’s important to give people space to have bad days, learn, and improve over time. But it’s also healthy to pay attention if bad behavior becomes a pattern that doesn’t seem to change. Here’s what to watch out for.

Toxic bosses affect your well-being

When you’re working for a toxic boss, you may feel the obvious physical signals such as a stomach ache. Or you may experience an emotional signal such as a feeling of dread. But it’s also worthwhile to pay attention to other physical and emotional effects. Perhaps you’ve started getting headaches that you just can’t shake, or your back is killing you lately.

When you’re under stress, this stress can manifest into physical symptoms. These side effects are often unique person-to-person. For instance, some people may notice that their shoulders hurt because they typically carry their stress in that part of their body. But physical symptoms can also be the result of choices you make. For example, if your boss is a tyrant, you may choose to eat lunch somewhere they will not find you, even if the seating there isn’t the best for your posture.

Another way a toxic boss can impact your wellbeing is by reducing your energy levels. With a toxic boss, you may have a harder time getting out of bed in the morning. Or you feel like you’re dragging yourself through the day even after your usual two cups of coffee in the morning. Feeling sleepy, fatigued, or sluggish are sure signals that something is amiss.

Prolonged exposure to toxic leadership can lead to a range of physical symptoms, from headaches and gastrointestinal issues to elevated blood pressure and compromised immune function,” explain Brian Aquart, vice president of workforce and community education at Northwell Health. “For instance, constant micromanagement and arbitrary decision-making can induce anxiety and chronic stress, triggering a cascade of physiological responses that undermine overall well-being.”

Toxic bosses affect your motivation

The three primary symptoms of burnout are feeling ineffective, cynical, and trapped. A toxic boss can be at the root of this experience.

For instance, constructive feedback can be tremendously helpful and empowering. But toxic bosses are more likely to criticize or cut you down. They are less likely to provide growth opportunities, and they may not provide meaningful work that is aligned with your interests or talents.

All of these can exacerbate perfectionism or lead you to feel like you’re not performing as well as you’d like. And this can reduce your desire to perform well in the first place. As a result, you may procrastinate or you may not feel the same motivation to try your best, to expend effort, or to get things done. If you’re feeling apathetic, disengaged, underutilized, or stuck, these can all be non-obvious signals that a toxic boss is affecting you negatively.

Some people who have toxic bosses also say they no longer feel like themselves. Perhaps you find that you’re negative, frustrated, or short-tempered with your loved ones compared with previously feeling upbeat or even neutral. When you’re working for a toxic boss, it can affect how you view setbacks and even your relationships. You may feel grumpy and things may get on your nerves more easily. These too are non-obvious ways that a toxic boss can get under your skin and impact your life.

Toxic bosses affect your relationships

Indeed, another non-obvious signal that you may have a toxic manager is that your relationships with your coworkers, or even with your friends or family outside of work, deteriorate.

In the office, a toxic boss can set people against one another. Toxic bosses do this by amplifying competitive situations, by treating people unfairly, and by seeding resentment. But the effects can also be more subtle. If you are feeling insecure or unmotivated, it can affect how you interact with others. And in turn, this can affect your relationships with team members. Or if a toxic boss has made you feel distrustful of others, it can get in the way of connecting with colleagues.

Unfortunately, this can spillover into your personal relationships. When you are stressed at work, you tend to bring that energy home with you. This negative energy can negatively affect your relationship with your partner, according to research from the University of Illinois. It can even negatively affect your parenting, based on studies published by the American Psychological Association.

What to assess if you have a toxic boss

We all have ups and downs at work. But when you reflect on the impacts of toxic bosses, you should focus on the degree of your symptoms as well as how you have changed since working with a toxic boss.

To understand the severity of your situation, you may choose to measure how often your toxic manager impacts you. It is, of course, normal to have good days and bad days. But if you get to a point that the bad days always seem to outnumber the good ones, it may be time to pause and regroup.

It’s also useful to trace how you have changed since working with a toxic boss. If you used to love your work and now you can’t stand it, the change may be telling you something. Or if you previously had great relationships and now you never seem to get along with your colleagues, it may be a symptom of something bigger that’s going on.

If you think you’re working for a toxic boss. Take time to reflect and consider your experiences and assess whether there’s anything you can do to positively impact the situation. Be sure you do your best to retain control of your attitude and your interactions.

Assume good intentions from others, engage with your colleagues, and build strong relationships. And then if you can’t improve things, you may want to consider other roles within your company—or jobs in another one.

Atkinson’s advice is reassuring, “Today’s workplace is increasingly focused on creating positive, supportive environments. If you’re dealing with a toxic boss, know that this isn’t the norm, and there are always options available to improve your situation,” she says. “Sometimes, the best response to a toxic boss is to find a new opportunity where your skills and contributions will be truly valued. Remember, self-care cannot be overstated in these situations.”

What to do about a toxic boss

The biggest thing to remember when you’re working with a toxic boss is that you still have control over your thinking and your actions. Don’t let a bad boss live in your head rent-free. And if possible, avoid letting a toxic leader hurt your self esteem or cause you to lower your own standards.

Tracy Christopherson, leadership coach and coauthor of Polarity Intelligence offers a helpful perspective. “A core principle of a healthy relationship is the balance of the relationship between self and others to achieve a shared purpose,” she says. “The only person you have any control over in the relationship is you.”

In order to move forward, Christopherson suggests reflecting on what you can and can not control. “You can begin by evaluating how you are showing up in the relationship and set your intention to be your best self regardless of how your boss shows up,” she says. “Over-focusing on your boss’s behavior can take a toll on your mental and physical health, so be sure you’re taking care of yourself by engaging in activities that reduce stress and promote well-being.”

And while it can be incredibly difficult to deal with a toxic boss, it is important to remember to empower yourself to prioritize your own happiness and wellbeing. It’s a myth that you can be happy only when all the conditions are right. In fact, work situations are rarely ideal, and there are always obstacles to happiness. Instead, you can empower yourself by remembering how much you can manage your own thinking, do your best work, and connect with others—even under tough circumstances.