Stop seeking approval. Here’s how adopting real accountability can help your career

At some point, we’ve all looked to our manager for a sign-off, hoping for that sense of security: “If they approve it, I’m in the clear.” But there’s a hidden cost to always seeking approval. The problem? By leaning too heavily on seeking approval, we miss out on opportunities to own our decisions entirely—and with that, we risk stunting our own growth.

Moving from seeking approval to true accountability is a game changer. Rather than treating each decision as someone else’s responsibility, owning your choices empowers you, builds trust, and ultimately makes you a more decisive leader. Here’s how to move past looking for a quick sign-off.

Ask the right questions

Instead of looking to your manager for answers, start by asking yourself the key questions they would ask you. If you bring a decision or idea forward, come prepared with a thought-out approach:

• What alternatives did I consider?
• What’s the worst-case scenario, and how would I handle it?

This approach not only keeps you grounded but also builds confidence in your own process.

It’s a powerful shift. Taking a step back and questioning yourself forces you to dig deeper, ensuring you’ve thoroughly weighed the options before you act. Research shows that when we actively engage in reflective questioning, we rewire our brains to think critically and independently. Over time, you’ll notice a difference in how others perceive you, as someone proactive, prepared, and confident.

Own your choice and the outcome

The next time you’re about to say, “What do you think?” pause and consider whether you need permission or are just looking for reassurance. Moving away from approval-seeking means recognizing that you’re capable of making the call —and that you’ll handle the fallout if things don’t go perfectly.

It might sound risky, but research shows that people who take ownership of their work experience higher levels of motivation and satisfaction. Building resilience through accountability can also rewire the brain’s reward system, increasing dopamine and reinforcing positive behavior cycles. Each time you take ownership, you’re making a statement about your capabilities and building a mindset that can handle high-stakes situations. Plus, even when things don’t go as planned, knowing you’re responsible can help you analyze setbacks constructively, without deflecting to others.

Invite support, not sign-off

There’s a difference between inviting guidance and seeking approval. When working on something big, don’t just go for the yes or no answer. Instead, ask your manager or peers for insights:

• What am I not seeing?
• How have you handled something similar?

Seeking perspective this way strengthens your approach and fosters a collaborative environment where you gain from others’ experiences without offloading responsibility.

By shifting the conversation this way, you’re opening yourself up to perspectives that can refine your approach without sidestepping accountability. You’re not handing off the responsibility. You’re strengthening your tool kit to take it on confidently. Over time, this proactive approach also builds relationships, showing others that you value their experience while standing by your choices.

Learn from setbacks without finger-pointing

Sometimes, things don’t go as planned, and that’s where real growth happens. Instead of immediately looking for explanations (or excuses), take ownership of the situation. Debrief yourself:

• What could you have done differently?
• Which parts of the decision went well, and what might you change next time?

Reflecting on your own actions without shifting blame is a skill that builds resilience and teaches you valuable lessons with each experience.

This process of analyzing your own outcomes is like a workout for your career. Each time you assess a setback, you’re building resilience, sharpening your decision-making skills, and proving that you can handle responsibility. Your team will notice this, too. Leaders who face failures head-on often find themselves with followers who respect them and peers who trust them.

Accountability builds trust and self-confidence

Moving past seeking approval is more than just a productivity tip, it’s a mindset shift. When you’re willing to take ownership, you make better choices, grow stronger in your role, and create the kind of career that reflects true leadership. So, next time you find yourself seeking a quick sign-off, consider standing firm in your own judgment. You’ll be amazed at how far a little accountability can take you.