It’s not just you. Your coworkers really are getting more annoying

Just about everyone has had to deal with an annoying coworker at some point in their careers.

In a recent survey of about 3,000 workers by cover letter and résumé builder Kickresume, 85% of respondents said they’ve had to put up with an aggravating colleague, and 58% say this negatively affected their productivity.

“It affects our performance and behavior at the workplace in a very real, tangible, and even measurable, way,” explained Kickresume’s head of content, Martin Poduska. “Only 12% said that it doesn’t actually affect their work that much, so productivity really does get affected by people being annoyed.”

Poduska adds that the shift to remote work has helped some create more distance between themselves and their most annoying colleagues, with 45% saying it had a positive impact, and 22% saying it had no effect.

“Only 15% said that it has actually increased, most of which were Gen Z, who also had some issues with [their colleagues’] written communication in a remote work setting,” he says. “They were the only age group who said that annoying behavior via messaging apps has increased.”

Still, each of the top-three most annoying coworker habits, as ranked by survey respondents, are offenses that can be committed remotely.

The top five most annoying coworkers habits

According to the study the most annoying colleague behaviors are:

1. Credit stealing2. Micromanaging3. Chronic complaining4. Personal space invading5. Lunch stealing

Poduska says Kickresume organized the survey in part to give people an opportunity to vent, and an opportunity to identify whether they are committing any of the most egregious offenses themselves.

“Just take them as five rules for a less annoying work life,” he suggests. “If somebody’s asking the question, ‘how do I avoid being an annoying coworker?’ they probably aren’t the annoying coworker, because they’re demonstrated a level of self-awareness that really annoying people don’t have.”

How not to deal with coworkers

According to the survey, those who are bothered by their colleagues often fantasize about taking action—sometimes even extreme action—but rarely do anything productive to address the problem.

According to the study 41% wish they could tell their annoying colleague what they really think of them, 19% pray for them to change their ways, and 11% admit to secretly hoping they’ll be fired. A small group of about 6%, however, want to see them suffer public humiliation, fantasize about sabotaging their reputation, or wish to commit physical violence against them.

However, most opt for a more passive-aggressive approach, with 32% simply avoiding the culprit, 12% venting to other coworkers, and 10% ostracizing the offender. Only 17% confront annoying coworkers, and just 12% say they took the issue up with their human resources department.

Why workplace annoyances are on the rise

If you feel like annoying colleague behavior is becoming more common, you’re not alone.

According to internal data from workplace misconduct solution provider Work Shield, coworker complaints have steadily increased in recent years, with notable jumps at the start of the pandemic, and as workers returned to the office.

“Quite honestly, I think people forgot how to act in the office and around other people,” suggests Work Shield founder and CEO Jared Pope. He adds that the broader political and social environment is also often reflected in workplace culture, meaning things can get particularly tense in the run-up to elections or in moments of heightened cultural sensitivity.

“We’ve seen a very large increase [in reported incidents] ranging from the standpoint of, ‘Hey, I didn’t like how you said that, so I’ll go report you,’ to really egregious sexual harassment, discrimination type incidents,” Pope says.

When annoyance becomes harassment

Pope adds that there is often a fine line between workplace annoyances and true harassment or other more serious offenses, and workers are increasingly using those labels in their reporting.

“There’s a lot of nuances, but people aren’t scared to use the term ‘harassment’ or ‘discrimination’ very broadly as they report,” he says, adding that the use of such words in official reporting typically triggers a legally mandated investigation by employers. “From a technical perspective, behavior crosses over to misconduct when it violates a policy or a protected class.”

Pope says that individual instances of annoying or rude behavior may not meet the standard for harassment, but can become more serious when repeated. “When you add a bunch of those non-misconduct activities back-to-back-to-back . . . that can be misconduct,” he says.

How to confront annoying coworkers productively

Rather than reporting your annoying colleagues for being irritating, trashing their reputation, or daydreaming about their termination, it’s important to at least attempt to engage in a productive conversation, says Abby Medcalf.

The author, psychologist and host of the Relationships Made Easy podcast explains that most avoid such confrontations, but says there are right and wrong ways to engage with irritating colleagues.

“As soon as you tell someone what they did wrong, they will stop listening to you, because all they will do is defend,” she says. “I always ask people, ‘do you want to be correct or effective?’ You can be correct all day long, but you’re probably not going to be very effective.”

Instead of confronting colleagues about their annoying habits with accusations or complaints Medcalf suggests approaching them with curiosity and empathy.

“It doesn’t have to be a conflict, it can just be a talk,” she says. “Often if you just say ‘you seem really angry, is there something going on? Are you alright?’ in a caring way, people will exhale and say, ‘you know, I’m not even angry at you,’ and then talk about what’s really bothering them.”

Maybe the answer was inside of us all along

Often, Medcalf says those minor instances of annoying workplace behaviors—and our sensitivity to them—has less to do with the behavior itself, and more to do with other stressors in our lives that we feel powerless to address. That is why she suggests focussing inward, not outward, when trying to deal with annoying coworker behaviors.

“When I do training, I have people focus on themselves and not Bob from accounting, because it is your responsibility to hold your boundaries at work,” she says. “I’m in charge of my emotional management, it’s not someone else’s job, no matter how they’re acting.”

Medcalf explains that in the face of everyday workplace annoyances some instinctively adopt a victim mentality, avoid confrontation, and only take action once emotions boil over, none of which are productive approaches.

“I’m not saying don’t go to a supervisor, and I’m not saying don’t do something external if you need to,” she says. “But if that’s your first reaction, or if your reaction is to do nothing at all until it builds and builds and then you go to a supervisor, that’s a problem, because you’re just as responsible for your work environment as anybody else.”