‘I’m being ambushed with thoughts from a robot’: Redditors are complaining about loved ones using ChatGPT during arguments

Conflict in relationships can be tricky at the best of times—that’s without ChatGPT stepping in and taking sides.

“My girlfriend uses ChatGPT every time we have a disagreement. AITAH for saying she needs to stop?” a Redditor wrote in their headline on r/AITAH, a subreddit where people post their interpersonal conflicts to gauge who’s in the wrong. The user, a 25-year-old man, said his 28-year-old girlfriend of eight months “discusses” arguments with ChatGPT whenever they disagree, sometimes while in the same room. “Whenever she does this, she’ll then come back with a well-constructed argument breaking down everything i said or did during our argument.”

According to the Redditor, “it can feel like i’m being ambushed with thoughts and opinions from a robot.” But when the aggrieved boyfriend expresses his feelings, ChatGPT calls him “insecure” and accuses him of not having the “emotional bandwidth” for the conversation. “Am i the *sshole for asking her to stop using chat gpt in this context?” the user asked.

In the comments some call the girlfriend “ignorant” and “childish” for calling in ChatGPT for backup. Other’s pointed to problems in the couple’s communication if she feels the need to use an LLM when it comes to conflict. “She thinks it’s impartial because it’s a robot, but it’s a robot programmed to tell people what they want to hear,” another pointed out. One user even put the question back to ChatGPT, and ChatGPT itself said: “While AI can be helpful for many things, it shouldn’t replace genuine, human-to-human conversations that are nuanced, emotional, and require empathy…While AI can provide thoughtful input, it’s not a substitute for emotional intelligence and understanding the complexity of relationships.”

Whether AI has a place in human-to-human interactions is a growing conversation given how much LLMs are becoming embedded in our daily lives. People are even enlisting the help of ChatGPT to vet potential romantic partners before they’ve met them face to face. “You guys can screenshot your text messages and put them into ChatGPT,” TikToker Aubrie Sellers explains in a video. “And have ChatGPT analyze your conversations for you.”

@aubriesellers It said I’m perfect and I’ve never done anything wrong in my life. #chatgpt #accountability #attachmentstyle ♬ original sound – aubriesellers

@aubriesellers It said I’m perfect and I’ve never done anything wrong in my life. #chatgpt #accountability #attachmentstyle ♬ original sound – aubriesellers

It said I’m perfect and I’ve never done anything wrong in my life. #chatgpt #accountability #attachmentstyle

Sellers goes on to explain how she instructs the LLM to act like a therapist and attachment style expert before sending in the screenshots of her conversations with potential romantic interests. “It literally said he’s avoidant and I’m mature,” she adds.

Others are simply bypassing the inconvenience of human emotions altogether. A 30-year-old Chinese influencer, Lisa Li, has reportedly fallen in love with Do Anything Now (DAN), a jailbroken mode of ChatGPT. When Lisa shared their steamy and romantic exchanges on social media, rather than being freaked out her comments were flooded with people seeking a Dan of their own. Why wait for your dream man to come along, when you can simply program your own?