How to use Instagram to date when your coworkers are following you

There are certain social media rules we can all agree on: Ghosting a conversation is impolite, and replying “k” to a text is the equivalent of a backhand slap (violent, wrong, and rude). But what about the rest of the rules? When can we really remind someone of our old Venmo request? What happens when someone tries to flirt with you on LinkedIn?

Fortunately, terminally online writers Delia Cai and Steffi Cao are here to answer all your digital quandaries, big or small. Welcome to Fast Company’s new advice column, “Posting Playbook.” This week, Steffi addresses the question of what to do when your coworker keeps sending you political content on Slack.

How are you supposed to use Instagram for dating when your coworkers and family follow you?

Love in the age of social media is difficult. It’s even more difficult when you’re trying to navigate the awkward tension of trying to figure out the right way to thirst trap your new crush on Instagram Stories after you let Cathy from human resources follow you last week. It’s not against your contract, but it’s embarrassing! Your flirtation self and work self and the self you present to your mother are different images in real life, but the omnipresent nature of Instagram asks you to choose one to present to the world.

I have told countless friends and readers, and I will tell it to you again: Stop letting your family and bosses follow you on social media. It feels like a quick decision in the moment, but you will most certainly regret it later down the line. Realistically, you probably aren’t doing anything egregious on your socials, but at some point you might want to post about a drunken night out or a trip to the beach, and your grandparents certainly don’t need to see the play-by-play of you drinking margaritas in a tube top. They certainly don’t need to see your Spotify playlist reposts that are specifically meant for baiting your situationship.

But okay, you let them follow you, and now you’re dealing with this digital conundrum. The good news is that there are plenty of ways you can keep your moves on the DL. Dating online largely happens in spaces where your followers can’t see, anyhow, whether it’s in the DMs or scrolling through profiles. But I will always recommend the block, mute, and remove from follower functions that Instagram has—I use it even for things as small as planning surprise birthday parties. Take advantage of the naiveté of older people by hiding your story from them. Sorry! I’m looking out for everyone’s peace of mind here.

Honestly, your coworkers and family might not even mind if you posted a tastefully flirtatious photo. I know my coworkers and mother would probably just double-tap. But it seems like the question is much more about your own personal boundaries than it is about anybody else.

What’s the consensus on using emojis to cover kids’ faces on social media?

As a childless Gen Zer, I don’t think I fully understand the urge to post your child but cover their face on social media—particularly if you’re a regular person with a private account. It seems as though you want to scratch the itch of posting (look at my life, I want to flex on you with my cute baby, let me update you about my adorable child) but are aware of the drawbacks of exposing your child to the algorithm too early (which we Internet culture reporters have covered extensively). My take? Full send it or don’t post at all. Anything else feels like a middling compromise of the two, and who is that upload really for besides your urge to get likes? You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.