How to stop your boss from giving you extra work

My mom used to always say, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.” She was a very busy person who seemed to have endless energy and a knack for outperforming others in her real estate firm.

While the origin of the quote isn’t clear, the idea is that someone who juggles several projects effectively probably has systems in place for prioritization and efficiency. This makes sense. But there is a point when said “busy person” hits overload. Tossing them one more ball could cause the person to drop all of them.

About two-thirds of workers feel empowered to decline extra work, according to a recent report from résumé builder Resume Now, yet 59% feel frequent burnout. Gen Z is the hardest hit, reporting the highest levels of stress as well as difficulty managing their workloads. A recent study from the résumé-building service LiveCareer found that 77% of employees are asked to take on extra work each week, 56% reluctantly agree due to pressure from managers or leadership, and 8% admit they don’t even know how to say no.

Why Is Extra Work Hard to Decline?

Extra work can be hard to define, which is why it’s challenging to say no, according to Keith Spencer, Resume Now’s career expert. “It’s essentially work that is outside the normal scope of your role,” he says. “Some people are perfectly okay with taking on extra work, because it can allow you to try new things and learn new skills and work with different people. Gaining that new experience can be beneficial.”

People often say yes because they’ve developed a pattern of wanting to help others, says Jenn Gunsaullus, a sociologist and relationship expert. “Many folks grew up believing that their main value is in giving and giving,” she says. “There are many positive things in that, but others can take advantage of it in the workplace.”

Shira Gill, author of LifeStyled: Your Guide to a More Organized & Intentional Life, agrees. “Most of us are wired as people pleasers, and we don’t want to disappoint,” she says. “We also want to represent ourselves as somebody who’s capable of doing all of the things and rising to the occasion. People sometimes confuse saying no with failure, disappointment, and not rising to the occasion. It’s typically the opposite.”

Get to the Root of Your ‘Yes Reflex’

To start saying no to extra work, you need to get clear on why you’ve been saying yes. Gunsaullus suggests asking yourself a series of questions, such as, What stories am I telling myself about why I need to say yes? Who am I by saying yes?

“There’s an underlying narrative that’s been trained into your brain throughout your lifetime, but it’s not necessarily factual,” Gunsaullus explains. “We need to pause and reflect on the story and where it came from, then do a little personal growth and work around those patterns.”

Gunsaullus says it’s important to get clear on the emotions you have attached to this narrative. Ask yourself, “What emotions am I feeling? Am I scared? Am I anxious? Do I have shame, fear of disappointment or disappointing others?”

Next, Gunsaullus suggests trying to pinpoint your physical response. A question like “Where do I feel a reaction inside of me?” shifts an abstract feeling to tangible sensations you can address. “Can you take some deep breaths? Can you pat yourself on the back for reflecting on this and bringing kindness to yourself? That’s a way of breaking the pattern in the moment by orienting to the sensations you’re feeling inside you,” Gunsaullus says.

Finally, Gunsaullus says you can start to regain your personal power by determining how you want to respond differently in the future. “How can you respond in a way that you feel proud of yourself?” Gunsaullus asks. “How can you be strategic and productive for your big picture goals of workplace advancement?”

Saying No

Resume Now’s report found that 42% feel relieved after declining extra work, which means that 58% don’t. “[Saying no] can make people feel guilty,” says Spencer. “Maybe you really respect your manager and now they have to take it on. Or you want to be a team player, and you’re concerned about the perceptions people have of you. It comes down to finding that balance, setting some boundaries, and advocating for yourself to protect your mental well-being.”

If you’re noticing the early warning signs of burnout, such as chronic fatigue or feeling irritable or detached at work, have a conversation with your manager as soon as you can. “You don’t want to sacrifice or jeopardize the quality of your work just to be able to deliver a larger quantity of work,” Spencer says.

Setting clear boundaries starts with defining the most important outcomes and the amount of time, energy, and output you need to accomplish those, says Gill, who says, “Look at your time critically to assess if there is time and energy left for other smaller or less-meaningful tasks. We all have a slightly different capacity.”

Gill also suggests asking your boss for help reprioritizing your workload by saying something like “My understanding was that this was the No. 1 priority. If I take on this new task or responsibility, I fear that it will stall or prevent this outcome from happening.”

Gill adds, “Give the boss the onus of deciding by outlining very specifically what will happen if you take on this new task.”

Work does need to get done, so Gunsaullus recommends these three considerations. “First, are these types of tasks being spread around?” she says. “Is there equality around it? Second, are you overwhelmed with your workload? Are you already having trouble keeping up with what you’re doing? And third, is there anything in what you’re being asked to do that would be beneficial to your career advancement?”

She notes, “Be strategic. It’s saying, ‘I’ve done this the last three times and it’s taken me away from my workload and what I’m committed to doing here.’ Be very clear, factual, and logical.”

The Risk of Not Saying No

If you seem to be the go-to person for extra work, especially tasks that won’t further your career, it’s important to start to decline assignments.

“Folks [who consistently say yes] are some of the most loving, giving people, but they can get taken advantage of in the workplace and become resentful,” says Gunsaullus. “Other people seem to not respect them as much, because they always say yes. They get pigeonholed as the person who always does these things.”

Saying no is like building a muscle, Gunsaullus says, explaining, “It’s gaining comfort with discomfort in emotional, mental, social contexts, where we’re feeling triggered in some way and we have patterns, and then we have discomfort around trying something new. The more we train our brains and our neural networks to be able to be more comfortable with discomfort, the easier it becomes. The discomfort might never go away completely, but it’s not as overwhelming.”

Gill says creating a not-to-do list and a personal mission statement can help you stay on track. Put them on a Post-it note or index card near your computer or workspace. “People often make long to-do lists, but they don’t make outcome or results lists. Instead of mindlessly doing all of these things, focus on achieving and finishing what’s important,” she says. “When we take on too much, we end up failing at everything.”