How to deal with workplace frustration more effectively

Frustration is a common emotion. It’s a close cousin to anger, because both deal with your reaction to an obstacle that is preventing you from achieving your goals. Where they differ is that anger is (usually) directed outward at an external obstacle. The energy and rage that anger generates may be useful for trying to influence that external obstacle physically.

Frustration is often directed at an internal or systemic obstacle that you can’t do much about. You may be frustrated because you don’t have the capability or time to do something, or may feel like some aspect of your company (or society) prevents you from accomplishing a goal.

But frustration is often unproductive, because it gets you energized around something you can’t really fix. You may actually think less clearly if you get too energized and that might make it harder to move forward. Here are a few things you can do to handle frustration effectively, especially when it comes up in the workplace:

Take a step back

Research going back almost 120 years shows that there is a sweet spot for the amount of mental energy you need to operate effectively. When you have a low level of energy, you don’t think effectively, because you’re simply not engaged with the situation. As you get more energized, you get more effective in your thinking up to a point. However, additional energy will actually create too much arousal. At that point, you have a hard time staying focused.

A little frustration can be helpful, because it may actually get you to pay attention to something that might otherwise escape your notice. However, when a situation creates more extreme frustration, you’re going to have trouble addressing it effectively.

You need to develop strategies to dissipate that energy. Ideally, you would take a little time to disengage from the situation. Some physical activity can help. Taking a brisk walk or doing a workout can leave you calmer afterward. Techniques for calming yourself can also be valuable. Deep breathing exercises, yoga, and mindfulness meditations are options. Some of these techniques (particularly deep breathing) are also helpful when you can’t completely disengage with the situation.

Understand the root of your workplace frustration

When you’re feeling workplace frustration, it may not always be obvious what’s causing that emotion. That is, you may have the overwhelming feeling that you’re stuck without knowing why. It is valuable to think more about the nature of the obstacle and what would be required to overcome it.

In what ways do you feel unprepared to take on the task you’re doing? If you need assistance from someone else or an opportunity build your skills, then develop a proposal you can bring to a supervisor to be more effective in the future.

To what extent are there organizational structures that are getting in your way? Perhaps there is someone else making it difficult to complete your work. Perhaps you need permission from someone to move forward and can’t get the go-ahead.

A conversation with your supervisor can be helpful here, as well. If you’re not sure where the barrier is coming from, they may be able to help. If you do know the cause of the problem, they may also be able to clear it away. Bringing these sources of organizational frustration to the attention of a supervisor is also valuable, because if you’re having a problem, chances are there are other colleagues who are as well.

Get help

Occasional frustration is part of everyone’s personal and professional life. Developing strategies to deal with excess energy that I mentioned earlier help a lot. But, if you find yourself frustrated at work frequently, consider seeing a therapist or career coach.

It’s natural to think that the workplace frustration you experience signals a problem with the organization you’re working for. You might think the organization is poorly run, that your manager is a problem, or that you are just a bad fit for your current role. And, it’s entirely possible these are a big source of the problem. A good therapist or coach can help you to identify the source of the significant frustration you’re feeling.

An important reason to work with someone else, though, is that it is also possible that you are helping to make that sense of frustration worse through your own reactions to things happening at work. Perhaps you interpret other people’s actions in a way that makes them feel like obstacles when they are not intended that way. Perhaps you are overestimating your own abilities, and that puts you in situations that are ultimately overwhelming. You might want to please others and so you take on more work than you can handle. A therapist or coach may help you to see the ways that you are contributing to your feelings of frustration.

That is important, because you might think that changing jobs will alleviate your workplace frustration. But, if your actions or reactions are contributing to your sense of frustration, those won’t go away just by moving from one job to another.