How to deal with the office favorite

It’s popular right now to talk about meritocracy and how we want the most talented people to be able to rise to the top. Yet that’s not the reality for many. Lots of people experience a workplace reality where they see a few charmed people become the darlings of leadership. These darlings get recognized for their contributions and fast-tracked for honor, opportunity, and promotions.

Sometimes, that’s for good reason. If you’re feeling jealous of the office favorite, it’s worth trying to be objective. Perhaps you wanted the recognition and reward and didn’t get it, and so you’re projecting your frustration on someone who really deserves the recognition.

But, there really can be favorites at work. There is a phenomenon in psychology called the “halo effect,” in which an initial positive impression of someone can lead you to interpret all of their subsequent actions more charitably than you might if you didn’t have that initial positive impression.

So, what do you do if you’re not the favorite, and you keep watching others get rewarded for their merit, while you get passed over?

Play the long game

Halo effects are a result of first impressions. While you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression on someone, the merry-go-round of organizations means that you’re likely to have many chances to make first impressions on influential people. Your supervisor may move on to another role. You may move to a different part of the organization.

That means you need to continue doing good work—even when you aren’t being recognized for it. Stifle the urge to complain about the success of others. Be a good colleague and develop a reputation of being trustworthy. Over the long-term, that will help.

You also have to hone your skills at making a good first impression. If you find that you have trouble communicating in public or in small groups, then consider getting some training. Join a public speaking group like Toastmasters to get more practice. Pay attention to how your habits affect impressions.

Show up to meetings and work on time. If you tend to dress in a way that differs from the norm at work, think about whether that is affecting other people’s initial sense of who you are. Individuality and free expression through your appearance are important values, but you should decide whether they are the hill to die on at work.

Create new opportunities

Even if you don’t experience any leadership changes, you can still bring yourself to the attention of new people. Large organizations typically require a lot of projects that cross silos to bring people together in a significant effort. If you get involved in those projects, you’ll invariably meet lots of new people.

Seek out ways to be part of these other projects—provided you have bandwidth to do so. There are two benefits to these engagements. First, you have an opportunity to make a good impression on a new group of people. Second, people you help from other groups may then pass their positive impressions back to your supervisor and others in your area of the organization. These positive comments that come from others can often lead people who know you to reevaluate their impressions.

Make your case

It’s hard to toot your own horn, and you certainly don’t want to do it all the time. But when the right opportunities come about, you need to help guide people’s impressions of you.

Your annual performance evaluations with your supervisor are a place where you can try to reset the way you are seen. There’s a tendency to use those evaluations as a way to list all of the things you have done during the year.

Rather than just listing the things you have done, focus on specific ways you would like to change how you are perceived by your supervisor. Organize your discussion of your accomplishments for the year in a way that highlights those aspects of your work that you want to emphasize. Help your supervisor to see aspects of your contribution that may not ordinarily be obvious.

You won’t completely overcome a lackluster first impression with one meeting. But, you may help your supervisor to start seeing aspects of your performance that they have missed in the past. That work can slowly help your supervisor (and others) to see the contribution you’re making.

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