How middle managers can perfect the art of influence on tough issues like RTO

Middle managers are caught in a regular tug-of-war. How to manage up to executive leadership and support their teams when unpopular mandates are ordered—all without causing damage to the relationships on both sides?

Currently, many middle managers are caught up in a fresh debate over RTO mandates that aim to bring workers in nine-to-five, five days a week. We know from well-documented research that few enjoy a punch-card clock and rigid rules governing our behavior. Yet, citing research or statistics on opinion polls doesn’t influence hard-lined decisions from CEOs or executive teams to do anything differently. Likewise, we understand the power and effectiveness of in-person collaboration and meetings.

The question isn’t about defending a side, it is how to effectively bolster the middle manager’s tenuous position of supporting leadership mandates, while simultaneously helping their directs to adapt, without causing division or coalitions on either side. Even more subtle, prevent feeding the beast of victimhood, which disempowers teams. This is a tall order.

Teams falling into victimhood might seem strange given no one wants to be told when and how to work. Strangely, if we only give attention to and consequently empower voices of complaint, negativity, or blaming external sources (“leadership”) we inadvertently encourage a victim mindset.

The danger is blindly preventing our team members from digging in and taking responsibility to find their creative adaptation or solutions. This could mean advocating for themselves instead of looking to others, or finding a powerful voice in the areas they do control in their lives. Holding direct reports accountable to self-empowerment builds confidence in their inner capacities to adapt and become resilient. Victim mindsets on the surface may appear powerful and righteous, but we give our power up to someone or something else when we externally blame and complain.

Regarding RTO, let’s focus on how the middle manager, pulled in both directions, can develop the skill (regardless of their stance on RTO) to navigate the challenges of supporting but not enabling their teams while committing to organizational policy (even if they disagree).

Much of the art of leadership in general is about effective communication and influence. Having a framework to guide challenging conversations in managing up and floating problems to the top, while also empowering teams below is crucial.

The CUBE model developed by Neuberg Gore for leaders in fast-paced environments was designed by compiling a large body of literature on negotiation/persuasion communication and distilling it into a two-page document on best practices and common mistakes that anyone can successfully follow. Proficiency in such skills takes practice.

CUBE stands for:

C: Create the context and objectives of the conversation.

U: Understand each other’s world and put theirs first.

B: Brainstorm options.

E: End with commitments.

To map this out, you C: Set the stage for the conversation. Start by scheduling a private meeting separate from regular 1:1s, in a neutral space. In the initial communication, it’s best to address elephants in the room—like telling an exec, “I’d like to discuss feedback from the team regarding the new in-person mandates, as morale is low.” Or to your direct: “I want to discuss how I can support you in adapting to these new mandates, can we make time to discuss?

Once in the conversation, focus on U: Understanding the other person’s world. For example, ask open-ended questions, such as, “What’s the reasoning behind these mandates?” or “How can I support you in adapting?” After gaining insight, share your own thoughts and concerns, and considerations for any risks involved. Focus on mutual interests and alignment.

Proceed to B: Brainstorm if needed. Wait until both sides fully understand each other before offering solutions. Another option is to brainstorm questions instead of solutions to the problem. Once you identify the most accurate question, a clear solution often naturally unfolds.

Lastly, make sure to E: End with clear next steps and commitments. Whether it’s scheduling a follow-up or outlining actions, this helps improve trust and relationships.

We suggest preparing for hard conversations. Write down what you intend to discuss using prep sheets. Rehearse your resentments, holdbacks, or areas that feel particularly challenging and require courage.

Middle managers will find themselves in endless difficult conversations. They can be intense and overwhelming—even the best communicators may react poorly in tough situations. But every challenging conversation is also an opportunity to develop trust, establish new agreements, and create progress. We want you to wake up each morning and look for opportunities to have difficult conversations instead of shying away and avoiding them.