How do I ask someone to be a reference and who should I pick?

Welcome to Pressing Questions, Fast Company’s work-life advice column. Every week, deputy editor Kathleen Davis, host of The New Way We Work podcast, will answer the biggest and most pressing workplace questions.

Q: How do I ask someone to be a reference and who should I pick? A: Choosing the right reference is a really important part of the job-hunting process. The right person saying the right things about you can tip the scales in your favor if a hiring manager is trying to decide between you and another candidate.

Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket

My first piece of advice is to have more than one person in mind. Like a lot of things in life, it’s good to diversify your portfolio. If you have one person you want to be your reference, what will you do if they say no?

Even if that one person says yes, chances are you are applying for more than one role—how eager do you think they’ll be to give quality feedback the tenth time they are asked? Can one person really speak to everything you may want to highlight for a potential employer? So, rather than starting with one person in mind, make a list of the top five people you might ask.

Who to ask

As Fast Company contributor Jill Goldenziel pointed out in a recent article about asking for a recommendation, your recommenders should be people who know you well. “It’s more important to have your direct supervisor than the CEO, or a professor who graded four of your papers rather than a Nobel Prize winner who lectured at your school,” she said. “The reference is about you—not about how impressive your recommender is.”When deciding who to ask, you can also think outside of the norm. Most people think of managers and professors as the go-to’s for recommendations, but chances are your colleagues and peers might have more valuable insights and know your work more closely. In search of a more honest view of your some hiring managers will do this leg work themselves by looking up your former colleagues on LinkedIn and reaching out.There are other bonuses to asking a colleague to be your reference: 1. They likely aren’t asked to give references as frequently, so they might be more apt to say yes.2. If you are applying for a job while still employed and you trust them, you can have someone who can speak to your current job performance.

How to ask

The most important thing to do is make it as easy as possible for your reference. Start by giving as much lead time as possible. Reach out a few weeks in advance, especially if you’re asking for a written recommendation. If it’s been a while since you’ve spoken to them, don’t jump right into the ask and make sure to re-establish the connection first. (Here are some templates on exactly what to say.)

It’s also important to give them as much information as possible so they feel prepared: If you’re switching careers or if the roles you are applying for focus on a particular skill, let your reference know so they know what to highlight.

Once you get a “yes” from a few of the people on your list, be sure to rotate through them for different applications so you don’t tire anyone out.

Don’t forget to say thank you

I’ve covered my stance on the post-interview thank you note in the past. It’s just as important to follow up with a thank you to your references each time they are contacted. They are undeniably doing you a favor that they are not obligated to or paid for. They may be the key to your next move. The least you can do is send them a few sentences saying thank you.

Need some more advice on asking for a reference? Here you go:

  • How to ask someone to refer you for a job (and not irritate them)
  • Having a hard time choosing references? Here’s who to ask in your network
  • The dos and don’ts of job references
  • Need a reference? Use one of these five templates
  • 4 tips to ask for a recommendation from someone you’ve lost touch with

No comments

Read more