Here’s why (and how) leaders need to learn when to stay silent

There is a research-based concept called the Babble Hypothesis. Essentially, those who talk more tend to fill leadership vacuums within groups. The more people talk, the more we view them as leaders. To an extent this makes sense. Talking more demonstrates elevated confidence, expertise, and charisma, which are qualities we typically seek in our leaders today.

But what are the consequences of just following those who generally talk more? Given the significance placed on active listening, there certainly are costs—or at least opportunities that leaders can miss out on.

What the modern world needs when it comes to leaders

No longer are we beholden to the old industrial model with a leader who knows and decides all, then orders the people they manage to take action. Instead, our technology-ridden, information-driven environment calls for leaders who nurture curious, learning cultures. Leaders need to questions to lead others to the answers, not necessarily to be the one providing all the answers. This calls leaders to ask more, listen better, and understand deeper. It calls for leaders to talk less.

But talking less can be a habit to break—especially after decades of professional socialization that reinforces the importance of the all-confident, all-knowing leader. There are solid models that can encourage leaders to become authentic and appreciative listeners. The first model offers a perspective about our intended audience, increasing a leader’s social awareness, whereas the second addresses the leader herself, focusing on self-awareness.

HALT—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

Mindfulness and emotional intelligence (aka “EQ”) have long bolstered a leader’s efficacy, and a solid relationship between these two areas can combat exhaustion, burnout, and exclusion in the workplace. Leaders can display mindfulness and EQ by looking for cues to collectively build social awareness.

One way is by recognizing the mental state that their followers and coworkers may be in at the moment. Checking in on listener’s HALT mental states, a model first developed to help addicts to recognize their vulnerability under stress, is a simple way to remember when doing just that.

HALT stands for hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. It can help leaders think about context. Is the conversation happening near (or far away from) a mealtime, are negative emotions surfacing, or have our listeners gotten enough sleep? The four risk states are also interrelated—colloquially we all know what it means to be hangry. If you keep trying to influence others when they’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, (or some combination of the three), they won’t be as persuasive. That’s why it’s important leaders must remain thoughtful of these HALT states.

WAIT—Why Am I Talking?

After understanding where their audience is during that moment, leaders should ask, Why am I talking? We can easily remember it through the acronym WAIT.

Putting WAIT into action can seem broad and vague. How exactly do we answer that question? It breaks down into underlying areas of need, value, and impression. Leaders need to focus on these areas before thinking of or crafting their comments. Or you can focus on being more considerate before offering a perspective during a collaborative group brainstorming session. Taking time to provides the opportunity to allow for quick and honest reflection on the veracity, impact, and usefulness of what they’re going to say before offering advice.

To incorporate HALT and WAIT into your leadership, let’s briefly explore three questions that will further our influence rather than take away from it.

What needs are we both trying to satisfy?

First, determine if your motivation stems from a personal need or a perceived external one. It’s in the leader’s interest to consider their personal needs, but they also need to be mindful of the teams’ personal interest and their mental states.

It’s important that leaders assess the situation and the broader context before offering their thoughts. Sometimes the leader may lack the experience, insight, or feedback to offer something of value. In this scenario, leaders should avoid satisfying or justifying their own needs and encourage others to speak up.

What value can we both add to the conversation?

Leaders are supposed to make people, processes, and organizations better. They need to ask questions like, What and how am I making this better? What exactly should I offer? Am I about to add the right kind of value this situation needs?

A leader can deliver guidance to clarify expectations and a path forward, but they can also glean input and key facts from their team. Building in brief pauses, asking for reflections, or crafting moments to think, pair, and share can go a long way to add value on both sides. They can also give feedback to improve performance and self-awareness. Leaders can also take more developmental approaches by offering mentorship or coaching later, which will also bring benefit to themselves.

What is not being said, and who is not talking?

Dialogue isn’t fundamentally bad. But there is a cost to every action

Leaders shouldn’t strive to make every comment or insight. They need to ask themselves, Does action or a conversation need to happen right now? Can it happen at a later time or date when folks feel more supported, ready, or aren’t tired or hungry?

A leader talking isn’t inherently the worst thing that can happen in the workplace. But active listening also isn’t a panacea. A core competency to leadership is communication, regardless of what industry you’re in. However, leaders do need to be intentional with their communication. What they say, how they say it, and how often they speak matters. Using the HALT and WAIT ideas can increase a leader’s self-awareness. More importantly, it can also improve their self-regulation, ultimately improving their impact of every communication.