From Intimidation to Inspiration: How to thrive in peer learning groups without burning out

I still remember walking into my first mastermind group meeting: My heart was racing—a mix of excitement and a lot of nerves. I had finally taken the leap to invest in myself and my business, hoping this would be the push I needed to level up.

I imagined sitting alongside people who truly got it—fellow entrepreneurs who had faced the same struggles and could share insights to help me dodge the usual pitfalls. I was craving a community of like-minded folks who could guide me, hold me accountable, and maybe even inspire some lightbulb moments. It felt like I was standing on the edge of something big, a transformative step forward.

And honestly? It was all of that. But I didn’t expect the challenges that came along for the ride.

Overcoming the intimidation of peer learning groups

Joining a peer learning group—whether it’s an online class, a mastermind, or group coaching—can be an incredible way to level up your business. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by people who’ve walked the same path, tackled similar hurdles, and found ways to move past them.

But let’s be honest—it can also feel a lot. The same people who are meant to inspire you can sometimes leave you questioning if you’re good enough. Early in my career, I joined a mastermind, and while I was initially excited, I quickly fell into the comparison trap. Instead of feeling motivated, I started feeling intimidated and a little inadequate.

Before I knew it, jealousy was sneaking in, and it wasn’t doing my mental health any favors.

But then I made a crucial shift: instead of feeling intimidated, I chose to be inspired; instead of jealousy, I embraced curiosity.

With a new mindset, I started asking questions, learning from those who intimidated me, and seeing their success as an opportunity for my own growth. Rather than jealousy, curiosity transformed my interactions and opened doors I had previously shut myself out of.

I remember the day when I decided to make that switch, I literally felt as if an enormous weight was taken off my shoulders. I gave myself permission not to be perfect, which gave me the freedom to ask questions and get help.

How to get started:

• Take note of any feelings of jealousy or intimidation: Instead of avoiding these emotions, use them as signals to explore what precisely makes you feel this way. It could be an opportunity to identify gaps in your knowledge or skills. 
• Set an intention before every peer learning session: Decide that your goal is to learn and grow, not to compare your progress with others. 

Filtering overwhelming advice

Peer learning groups are a goldmine of advice. Most members are super generous with their insights and, before you know it, the “should do’s” start piling up fast. I remember planning a business development strategy while in a mastermind group—everyone had actionable ideas to share. The advice was solid, but here’s the thing: trying to do it all? It’s a fast track to getting nowhere.

When you’re in a group like this and share a challenge, you’re going to get a ton of suggestions. But here’s the key: You don’t have to act on every single one. Instead, focus on what aligns with your goals and stick to that. It’s all about being intentional, not overwhelmed.

It’s easy to think you should follow the same path just because someone else did something successfully. When my coach asked me a simple yet insightful question—”Why do you have to do it that way?”—I realized that just because I could do something didn’t mean I should. There is power in discerning between what is possible and what is a priority. Shifting from “I could do that” to “What I should do” and ending in “What I must do” was a clarity filter that allowed me to focus my efforts on what mattered most to me and was aligned with my long-term goal.

• Filter for alignment: Before acting on any advice from the group, ask yourself if it aligns with your top three long-term goals. Focus only on implementing actions that move you toward these goals.  
• Set a “one at a time” Rule: Commit to taking action on just one piece of advice at a time. This helps prevent getting overwhelmed and ensures you’re entirely focused on making meaningful progress in one area before moving on to the next. 

Choosing Authentic Influence Over Popularity

One of the more challenging lessons I’ve learned is the difference between having influence and being an influencer. An influencer has followers, but influence is about having a meaningful impact on someone or something.

My mastermind group supported each other by commenting on posts to boost visibility. It seemed helpful at first, but it created this unspoken obligation. Before I knew it, I was chasing validation through likes and follower counts.

That need for engagement started to take over. I felt anxious and stressed and couldn’t shake the feeling of not being “enough.” As Simon Sinek put it, “Popularity is not leadership. Results are.” That hit home when I realized I was spending more energy chasing metrics than honing my craft.

So, I chose to stop worrying about being an influencer and focus on building real influence instead.

That meant shifting from seeking likes to creating genuine value, focusing on connection, expertise, and experience. I stopped tagging people for attention and instead aimed to provide impactful content. Influence isn’t about numbers but the depth of your connections. This shift reduced my stress and made my contributions more meaningful.

• Focus on value creation: Before posting anything, ask yourself if it provides value—such as offering insight, solving a problem, or making a meaningful connection. Prioritize quality over quantity to build real influence. 

• Set metrics aside: Limit the frequency you check likes, comments, and views. Instead, focus on the quality of interactions and feedback you receive. Shift your focus from numbers to your content’s impact on your audience. 

Strategic prioritization in peer learning groups

We’re constantly told to hustle, push harder, and stay busy—it’s like a badge of honor for entrepreneurs. But let’s be honest: hustle culture is running us into the ground.

The real magic isn’t in doing more; it’s in pulling back, reassessing, and getting clear on where your energy should go. Prioritizing doesn’t just mean cutting back—it’s about saying yes to what truly aligns with your goals and purpose and letting go of the rest.

As Dorie Clark puts it in The Long Game: “Playing the long game is not about doing everything; it’s about doing the right things consistently.” And that, my friend, is where the real value lies.

The time and energy I spent switching from project to project, trying to do it all, didn’t lead to progress—it led to burnout. As I highlight in my book “Ordinary Resilience” understanding the difference between being busy and being intentional is crucial for sustainable growth. When I started prioritizing what mattered and being intentional about my actions, I found peace and greater success. Innovation is not about constantly doing something new but consistently doing what’s right.

• Set clear priorities: Identify your top three long-term goals and use them as a guide when deciding which opportunities to pursue. Make sure each commitment aligns with these core objectives to avoid unnecessary distractions. 

• Schedule regular assessments: Allocate time each month to review your commitments and evaluate their impact. If an activity is not contributing to your long-term goals, consider letting it go to maintain focus on what truly matters. 

Navigating peer learning groups as an entrepreneur isn’t just about learning from others; it’s about transforming yourself.

The real power lies in filtering the noise, choosing what genuinely resonates with your vision, and trusting your ability to grow at your own pace. Embrace the discomfort, ask bold questions, and be willing to stand out rather than blend in.

The goal isn’t to keep up with everyone else—it’s to chart a path that is uniquely yours. By focusing on meaningful influence, genuine connection, and the right actions, you turn these peer groups into more than just a learning opportunity; they become a catalyst for your evolution as a leader.

Make the courageous choice to prioritize depth over breadth and purpose over pressure, and in doing so, you’ll not only thrive—you’ll inspire others to do the same.