Asking this question can make workers feel like they belong

If you want to create a greater sense of workplace belonging, you should ask your colleagues this question: What do you need?

Workers are currently facing considerable challenges: record-high levels of stress, a persistent childcare crisis, and a challenging mental health epidemic. However, the simple act of asking this single question holds the potential to cultivate a profound sense of belonging among workers. I believe this is particularly true for marginalized groups such as women and Black women.

Here’s why asking workers this question is so effective at helping create a sense of belonging at work.

The challenges facing marginalized workers

According to Deloitte’s 2024 Women at Work report, there are myriad challenges plaguing women in the workplace. And compared to last year, fewer women report feeling supported by their employers in balancing work and external commitments. Merely one in ten feel comfortable discussing work-life balance openly in their workplace, and 95% express concern that asking for what they need could hinder their chances of advancement.

Black women confront additional challenges in the workplace—from microaggressions and pay gaps to glass ceilings and glass cliffs. These challenges are compounded by a lack of support from managers and employers and exacerbated by interpersonal and societal obstacles.

“By almost any measure, Black women are facing disproportionately high barriers in the workplace,” reads LeanIn’s State of Women in the Workplace report. “They are also less likely to report that their managers check in on their well-being or help them balance priorities and deadlines.”

What do you need?

Reflecting on the importance of support in the workplace, I came across Lauren Wesley Wilson’s recently released book What Do You Need? This question was the kindling that began Wilson’s business, ColorComm, which started as a luncheon and became a network of more than 100,000 professionals. When I inquired about the question’s origin, Wilson told me, “I asked this question because I wanted people in the room to learn from each other and to be able to get to know each other.”

When asked and answered, “What do you need?” possesses a catalytic quality that can inspire allies to address the multitude of challenges women encounter in the workplace. The question is an example of what authors Edgar Schein and Peter Schein call humble inquiry.

Humble inquiry, they write, is “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, and of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” Many colleagues and allies are eager to collaborate to break down barriers, foster creative solutions, and strive for equity. Asking “What do you need?” is the perfect place to start.

While the answers for Black women are often complex and multifaceted, simply posing this question can ignite crucial conversations essential for driving meaningful change. Wilson advises managers and would-be allies seeking to understand how to offer support.

“‘What do you need?’ is always a more productive question than ‘How can I help?’” Wilson says. “It helps you learn about a person or a group, and it doesn’t put the burden on them to instruct you on how to be an ally.”

The power of asking questions

Wilson penned her book to empower Black women to seize control of their careers and shape their professional paths.

“Start asking the question. I want us to start asking that to ourselves. I want us to start asking that to each other. I want that to be a national conversation. If you put out your need in a room of 30, 40, 50 people, you’re going to get your need met. It’s an exchange of opportunity,” she explains. “What do you need in the workplace so that you have a fulfilling professional life, so that you enjoy what you’re doing, and that you get up every day excited to go do the work?”

Wilson continues, “No matter if you work for someone else, no matter if you work for yourself, I want you to have the things that many people desire in the workplace, which is to be seen, valued, heard, understood, respected, and compensated.”

Other questions to ask

For women of any identity, questions are potent tools for fostering a sense of empowerment and belonging in the workplace—an essential element for productivity, motivation, and engagement.

Besides expressing our needs, there are several other questions women in the workplace can ask themselves and others. What self-limiting beliefs am I holding on to? Who am I when no one is watching? What aspects of my life or work am I shedding this year? What truths am I avoiding acknowledging? What significant rejections have shaped my journey the most?

Asking powerful questions of ourselves and others creates a culture in which humanity is emphasized, perspectives are honored, contributions are considered, and needs are supported.

In today’s dynamic work environment, this sense of belonging holds significant sway over individuals’ willingness to contribute fully to their roles. According to research conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation, employees who feel a sense of belonging are 3.5 times more likely to unleash their potential. The power of such questions is evident in the findings of the EY Belonging Barometer, which indicates that 41% of employees feel the greatest sense of belonging at work, which is second only to home (62%). However, the barometer also revealed that a staggering 75% of respondents admit to feeling excluded at work.

Belonging is a fundamental human need, and people crave deeper connections with their colleagues in the workplace. Coqual, a think tank dedicated to equity research, worked to define the elements that create belonging in the workplace and noted, “Belonging at work means you feel seen for your unique contributions, connected to your coworkers, supported in your daily work and career development, and proud of your organization’s values and purpose.”

Employers bridge the belonging gap and cultivate a stronger sense of belonging by providing more opportunities for colleagues to check in with one another. EY found that 32% of workers feel that colleagues making an effort to check in with others is the top contributor to building a sense of belonging at work.

Asking questions is a deliberate and thoughtful approach to belonging that involves uncovering insights, challenging assumptions, and gaining clarity about others and their circumstances. As women, we need allies who embrace the power of asking, “What do you need?” then take the opportunity to listen actively and turn information into action.