5 tips for eliminating big egos at work

Freud once wrote, “The ego is not master in its own house.” He argued that the ego, which controls your thoughts and behaviors, is influenced by the id (your most basic impulses) and the superego, which consists of the rules and norms of society. Having a balanced ego is key to personal well-being. Similarly, having and leading with a balanced ego is key professional and team success.

Leaders with inflated egos can cause irreparable harm to workers and companies. Less willing to entertain contradictory ideas, they stifle innovation and make poorer-quality decisions. Because their egos crave positive attention, they’re susceptible to manipulation. What’s worse, the traits of egocentric leaders often trickle down through an organization, potentially undermining its very fabric. That’s why it’s key for leaders to practice leaving their egos at the door.

Here are five strategies for releasing your sense of self-importance and leading with less ego.

Train your active listening ability like it’s a muscle

If you’ve ever been to a therapist, then you’re familiar with active listening. A good therapist listens attentively, interprets when appropriate, and endeavors to understand what you’re saying. They don’t just hear you, but they make you feel heard. In doing so, they allow their own ego to fall away.

Like strength training at the gym, you can train your active listening ability as if it were a muscle. The core components of active listening are comprehending, retaining, and responding. By working on these skills you can become a better active listener.

You should also get in the habit of clarifying misunderstandings in the moment. For example, due to slang or technical explanations. Ask questions and seek further explanations. If necessary, request that someone break down a concept into terms a child would understand. Tune out any distractions and try to be aware of your own biases. And finally, communicate that you’ve understood what someone has said.

Active listening takes effort, but like weight lifting, it gets easier with repetition.

Give kudos regularly

You can likely recall a leader who took credit for every accomplishment during their tenure. This is the telltale sign of an egocentric leader. It not only paints a distorted picture of the truth, but it also wilts employee motivation. Keeping your ego in check requires regularly recognizing employees for their contributions and achievements.

Research shows that even minor tokens of recognition have major benefits, for employees and organizations alike. Specifically, symbolic awards like congratulatory cards, public recognition, and certificates can significantly increase intrinsic motivation, performance, and retention rates. Public recognition (as opposed to private compliments) can be more effective and encourage other team members.

Regularly and publicly giving kudos can boost morale, motivate team members, and enhance an organization’s overall well-being.

Take accountability

Researchers have found that people have varying views of accountability. Some perceive accountability as a threat—a motivating force insofar as reaching your goals avoids negative consequences. Others see accountability as a worthy challenge and an opportunity for growth and improvement. Leaders who manage to cultivate the second kind of accountability stand to reap the benefits of a pervasive growth mindset throughout their organization.

One way to build positive accountability within your team is to hold yourself accountable as a leader. Own your mistakes, missteps, and missed targets in public forums, for example, a newsletter or recurring all-hands meetings. Share failures as opportunities for reflection and growth.

Not practicing what you preach can hurt employee motivation. When leaders tell employees to do one thing and do another thing themselves, employees register the mismatched expectations as a threat and motivation plummets.

Promoting accountability at every level of your organization will keep c-suite egos in check and bolster employee motivation.

Limit interruptions and be present

Showing up for employees goes beyond just physical presence. It means giving them your full attention, including limiting interruptions and being present. Showing up for others can be a grounding force for your ego and can foster a more empathetic, collaborative work environment.

We take this strategy to heart at my company. For example, we have weekly Demo Days when our teams present their latest work and any ideas bouncing around in their heads. We all look forward to these days because they offer the chance for employees to have the floor and express themselves. Even the most reserved employees chime in, knowing their voices will be heard. Demo Days can only succeed if we all agree, from leaders to new hires, to minimize disruptions and be fully present and engaged.

Commit to ideas even when they aren’t your own

As a leader, moderating your ego can be a challenge, but it’s also a sign of wisdom. As writer F. Scott Fitzgerald once stated, “The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

One way leaders can hold onto various opposing ideas is to shelve their ideas sometimes and commit to others’. Nearly two decades of leading my company have taught me that it’s okay to heed someone else’s perspective even if it’s different from mine—even if I actively disagree.

Employees benefit from the vote of confidence and I develop mental agility by embracing an opinion that differs from my own. Even if the idea fails, the learning experience benefits everyone involved.