When women of color ask “Do I belong here?” what we are really asking is, “Will I be accepted? If I am doing good work, will I be given the same opportunities to advance as the people around me? Will I be included in decision-making discussions when appropriate?” This is not a question of race, it’s a question of respect.
We want to be included and considered when the organization plans team-building events or celebrations, and not only when those events are gender or race related. We want to know we aren’t seen only as the Black employee or Asian employee or Latina employee or female employee, but that we’re recognized for our personal interests and professional accomplishments, too.
When we talk about being known in the workplace, what we’re really talking about is reputation. When I was in my first job, it wasn’t that I had a bad rep. I had no rep. I wanted to be successful, so I worked hard, but I also had a 90-minute commute to and from work each day. I didn’t want to kick back with my co-workers because I was on a schedule.
Women of color often take this approach, coming into professional roles with reservation, or with our guard up, because that approach was ingrained in us or because the pressure of being the first or the only is so great. It takes time to warm up to colleagues, to get friendly, and to feel comfortable. Sometimes it is not inherently in us and at times it takes more effort. Sometimes we’re looking not at the long game of connection, but at the short game of standard pleasantries, doing the work, and going home. I know, I was once there.
But this approach doesn’t work in today’s workplace. It’s not enough to just be good at your job. Your colleagues and higher-ups—and specifically the right colleagues and higher-ups—need to know you’re good at your job; otherwise you’re operating in a bubble.
So much of success is reliant on the influence of other people. I would guess that probably 85 percent of the workplace decisions that will directly affect you are being made when you are not in the room. This is true internally, at your current job, but also externally, at other potential companies and among players in your industry as a whole. Internally, people are talking and asking themselves, Who is going to lead this part of the business? Who is going to run point on this project? Who can we trust to interface with this client?
Yes, sure, sometimes you’re in a meeting and your boss will ask for volunteers (and better raise your hand, but we’ll get to that shortly), but more often than not your boss or manager is the one having this conversation with his or her colleagues. And similar conversations are taking place outside your specific place of business, whether a company is looking to recruit someone new, an industry conference needs a speaker, or an organization is putting together the invite list for their annual holiday party.
In all of these situations, you not only want your name to come up, but also to come up quickly. Decisions are made in an instant. People are so time-strapped that whoever they think of first, that’s who’s going to get the call.
So how do you make sure the right people have a positive opinion about who you are? You have to take a two- pronged approach: personal and professional. You have to make connections, and you have to have wins.
Connections and wins are both long-term strategies. They are the most powerful in terms of building social capital, but they should be supplemented with some quick-hit behaviors that, when practiced consistently, will ensure that people notice you.
Speak up. You should make your voice heard in meetings, but when you speak, add value. Be thoughtful every time you open your mouth. Saying “I agree” or starting a sentence with “Just to clarify” do not count. Don’t echo what someone else said just to hear yourself speak. You need to provide insight to where colleagues will say, “That’s a good idea,” or “Let’s consider your point of view.”
If you’re in the minority group in an office, it’s likely you’ll be able to offer perspective that is different. You’ll have different cultural reference points and a different upbringing, and that will hopefully translate to helping your team see things from a new point of view.
Another meaningful and important contribution is speaking up if there is cause for concern. Sometimes women of color can spot problematic content where others—men, white colleagues—cannot. If you get feedback that sounds like “Let’s consider what Lauren just said,” that will signal that you added value. You contributed meaningfully. If you make a comment and you’re met with crickets, that’s a sign you didn’t resonate with anybody.
Be consistent. You do not need to speak every single time your colleagues gather in a room, but it does have to happen more often than not. One bright idea can be written off as a fluke, but no one can deny the person who always has something valuable to add. Plus, multiple people are present at each meeting, so the more you contribute, the more people can attest to your added value. Being “known for” something is about multiple people having the same impression.
Join, join, join. When it comes to joining internal groups, it’s important for you to think about variety. Chances are you already know the other employees of color because there aren’t that many of you. The goal of joining groups is to get to know as many people as possible, because it’s important that people across ages, races, genders, and departments know that you’re really funny or a problem-solver or a great team player. Joining groups also shows a high level of engagement in company culture, which will help you get integrated into the company itself. As for external groups, this is how you learn about your industry and how your industry learns about you.
Excerpted with permission from What Do You Need? How Women of Color Can Take Ownership of Their Careers and Accelerate Their Path to Success by Lauren Welsey Wilson (Hay House, 2024).
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