3 things you forgot you knew about speaking in person and how to fix them

This summer, I keep getting the same call: “So my company is going back to in-person events and off-sites, and I feel like after working so much virtually, I forgot how to speak in-person both one-to-one and formally.”

You are not alone.

The reason in-person events are coming back is simple. We longed for the connection of being in the same room, but at the same time, we didn’t miss it and really liked not having to be there in person.

Communication, like any other skill, is a muscle. Virtual communication is very different than in-person communication. It is like two entirely different parts of your body. Imagine going to the gym every day for a year and only working on strengthening your legs. Your legs would be in shape, but out of proportion to the rest of your body.

We have forgotten to work out in-person communication skills. To have a full competitive advantage, you must be good at both. You have to access the skill from your memory core and work it out. These are the three things you forgot and how to address them.

You forgot you have an entire body

Now that we are going to in-person events, we have myriad reasons to be self-conscious. One of the reasons is that we forgot how to use our entire body to communicate. We are used to smaller gestures to fit the virtual frame.

Your gestures must match your space. If you were to gesture in the same “frame” as in the virtual world from a podium in front of 250 people, it would look out of place. You need your gestures to fill the space. You need to take up space and try to enjoy doing it—let yourself out of that small screen you are used to occupying and get out into the open.

We also forgot about our feet and legs—when you are presenting in person the lower half of your body sends a lot of nonverbal cues. If you are not balanced on your feet when standing and putting all your weight to one side, you look less commanding.

How you sit in a chair in person is also important. Is the lower half of your body communicating boredom? Engagement? While some of this applies to virtual communication, I cannot tell if your leg is shaking or your feet are bouncing. In-person, I absolutely can and it can signal that you are not engaged.

By being balanced and minding what the lower half of your body language is communicating, you will remember what it is like to give a powerful dynamic presentation.

You forgot you can’t ‘watch’ yourself

One of the biggest complaints I heard when we all went virtual was “I hate seeing myself on camera.” Then we got used to it. Then we relied on it. We became accustomed to the luxury of checking our resting faces and seeing if something was off about our appearance (or maybe leftover peanut butter from lunch etc.).

So many of us still wear pajama pants on the bottom and a dress shirt or jacket on the top for virtual communication. I get it. It is comfortable. But now you are a fully dressed working human who is no longer used to wearing head-to-toe outfits (especially shoes). It makes us feel like we haven’t been in the world in years.

Now that we are in person we may be self-conscious because everyone can feel our energy in the room and see our entire self. This can make us feel exposed. Focus on the other person or the room instead. Be where your feet are. Give the other person, meeting, or presentation your full attention. Remember that the information you share is always more important than how you look. You look fine. Focus on the issue at hand.

We forgot we’re able to change the energy of the room

It is and continues to be more challenging to read a virtual room because we are trying to look at the camera while navigating who is there and who logged off early. It is a lot to take in.

When you are in person, you can feel people’s energy. You can see if your audience is bored, confused, or truly engaged. If someone leaves the room, everyone will notice. This is a huge advantage of in-person communication.

As a speaker, you can dial your energy up or down depending on the content. Your message, voice, and full-body speaking offers an opportunity to influence, create change, and make your message heard. Why not take advantage of the energy in the room?

By not focusing on yourself, embracing your full-body speaking style, and using the energy in the room, you may start to get back into the shape you were in four years ago and remember your pre-pandemic speaking powers.