2 essential principles to manage people’s behavior

“This is hopeless,” he muttered, sinking into his office chair. The CEO of a medical device company had just returned from another fruitless executive meeting, where he had pleaded for improved teamwork.

For the third consecutive quarter, the company had missed its sales targets, and the cause was glaringly obvious: the executive team was deeply dysfunctional. Fragmented into warring factions, they communicated mainly through contentious email exchanges, taking every opportunity to highlight each other’s mistakes and deliberately undermine one another.

The executives seemed more focused on settling scores over perceived slights than achieving their goals. Despite the CEO’s clear communication of the strategic plan and individual responsibilities, little progress was made.

What more could the CEO possibly do?

Behavior follows leadership

While managers can’t directly control others’ actions, their own behavior profoundly impacts how their team members act. Unfortunately, many managers fail to recognize that much of their team member’s conduct is a product of their leadership.

Influencing behavior becomes much easier when you understand these two principles:

• Behavior that gets praised, gets repeated. 
• You get the behavior you tolerate. 

These two principles are equally powerful and critical to managing and modifying behavior, but the order matters. Before others will accept corrective feedback, they must feel you respect them. Great leaders know that recognizing people’s strengths and accomplishments is essential for building trust and improving performance.

Behavior that gets praised, gets repeated

A common finding in the leadership assessments I administer is that managers often provide insufficient positive feedback. Many managers worry that praising employees for “simply doing their job” might lead to complacency or unrealistic expectations about their performance and compensation. However, a lack of praise is much more likely to lead to disengagement, distrust, and low performance.

Praise triggers the release of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine, a feel-good chemical, encourages us to repeat actions that lead to positive outcomes. In other words, dopamine’s purpose is to encourage us to “do that again.”

One time while hiking, I accidentally triggered my buddy’s reward system, which noticeably changed his behavior. When I struggled on a steep section of a multiday hike, my buddy encouraged me to keep going until we reached the next peak where we would take a break. Once there, I thanked him and said, “I really appreciate your encouragement. That helped.” That’s all it took to trigger his brain to dispense a dose of dopamine. For the rest of the day, he transformed into Tony Robbins, dishing out positive, encouraging comments!

This significant behavior shift lasted about a day or two. By day three, he was back to his usual level of positivity. That’s because I stopped reinforcing the behavior by withholding praise. Dopamine has a short shelf life.

Effective praise Is frequent and specific

Research by Gallup has shown that recognizing good performance in each employee each week is correlated with a 10–20% increase in productivity and revenue. Most employees do something well each week, and great managers recognize and acknowledge these moments. This ensures employees know when they’ve hit the mark, so they know what to aim for next time.

Don’t save praise only for heroic achievements. Praising frequently doesn’t diminish its value as long as it’s specific and sincere.

Effective praise includes three parts:

• I noticed what you did. 
• I appreciate it. 
• This is why it’s important. 

This approach ensures that employees clearly understand what behavior is being rewarded and why it matters.

It can take as little as 10 seconds to help people remember to “do that again.”

You get the behavior you tolerate

Managers often fail to recognize how their inaction can perpetuate poor behavior. For example, at an engineering company I worked with, an employee consistently violated company policy by sending unreviewed reports directly to clients. Initially, the manager dismissed this as an isolated incident. As the behavior persisted and became a pattern, she addressed it via email. However, when the issue continued, she rationalized it by saying, “That’s just the way he is.” They were chronically short-staffed, and she didn’t want to risk losing him if she addressed it more firmly with him.

When managers tolerate poor behavior, their silence sends several clear messages.

• “I approve of your behavior.” Silence is tacit approval. If poor behavior doesn’t meet resistance, expect it to continue and get worse. 
• “Low performance is acceptable here.” High performers may begin feeling disillusioned and might even begin to suspect their manager is playing favorites. 
• “Our standards are more like guidelines.” Allowing some standards to slide can weaken all standards. Soon, people stop taking standards seriously.  
• “I have no authority.” A leader who doesn’t address unacceptable behavior is easily ignored. 

Effective leadership requires the courage to set and enforce standards consistently. This doesn’t mean yelling or getting upset. Effective leaders enforce standards by addressing the issue face-to-face every time it happens. Nobody wants that, including managers. However, good managers understand that turning around unacceptable behavior is the price of leadership. Seeing people improve and the organization succeed is the reward.

Before leaders can enforce standards, everyone must be clear on them. Effective leaders take time to define desired results and facilitate consensus around behavioral expectations. When team members help set the standards, they are more likely to follow them and be open to corrective feedback when they don’t.

If behavioral issues persist despite clear expectations, managers must discuss the consequences. Managers must have the courage to say, “If this happens again, I will have no choice but to let you go.” Obviously, that’s a last resort that nobody wants. But which is worse, the short-term pain of replacing one person, or lowering the team’s standards and losing their respect and commitment and damaging the company’s reputation?

There’s a difference between unacceptable behavior and poor performance. Unacceptable behavior includes being disrespectful, insubordinate, sneaky, or dishonest. Poor performance, on the other hand, may be the result of a legitimate reason, such as lack of training, unclear expectations, substance abuse, or turmoil in the employee’s personal life. In either case, managers should investigate before drawing conclusions. While consequences should be discussed in both situations, unacceptable behavior must be met firmly. Poor performance will likely require patience.

Look in the mirror

Before blaming others for undesirable behavior, consider these questions:

• Do I provide frequent, specific praise? 

• Do my team members know I value their contributions? 

• Have I told them recently what I believe are their strengths? 

• Have I discussed behavioral expectations with my team? 

• Are our standards clear and specific? 

• Do I recognize and celebrate individuals who exemplify our standards and values? 

• Do I address behavioral issues face-to-face instead of by email? 

Behavior (mostly) follows leadership. Those in positions of formal authority have the power to influence behavior by applying these two laws.

Fortunately, you don’t have to be in a leadership position to wield this power. Anyone can, and should, praise others far more than they do, set clear expectations with their key relationships, and meet unacceptable behavior with firmness. Those who do will earn the respect of others and elevate everyone’s performance.